Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We have started to decorate penises.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize