He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
