How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
