i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
