hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
