Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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