we have pet lesbian snakes
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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