Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
