I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
