I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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