Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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