when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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