To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
