New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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