whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
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