I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
