Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You are the jesus of drinking
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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