sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You can't just leave with hair like that
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
