Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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