Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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