He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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