You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
