champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
