his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
