you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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