it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
