Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
