Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize