Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
