Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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