I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
