Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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