We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
