he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
