lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
