I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
