Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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