So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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