so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so let's talk penis.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
