how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
