The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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