Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
