...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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