I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
