Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
