Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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