So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
