i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
