if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
