using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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