i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
