apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
