Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
