Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
