I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't deserve a penis
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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