Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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