So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
