Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
