She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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