Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Randomize
