are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize