oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
