i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
