Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
